-Letter to my granddaughter Heather-

My Special granddaughter Heather and myself were very close while she was growing up, we spent a lot of time together, and I tried to help her cope with being sexually molested by her mother’s live in policeman boyfriend. I suspect it might have something to do with the trouble she is having at this time, after divorcing the father of her two girls. I thought it might be a help to others in a like situation that happened onto our website.

Leith Lyman Cunningham

Dear Heather                                                                                                                                         November 3,2017

After doing a very little study and research on narcissism and psychological problems, I have decided that I have been inflicted with both of them to a good degree, and I believe I see you in there too. I believe carnal mankind have all been inflicted with both as well. To me it is well known that we all to one degree or another have been inflicted with a heavy dose of self-centeredness, pride, vanity, lust, greed, hate, deception and evil of every nature imaginable. God made us carnal human beings with the need to raise up and out of it. To wallow in it causes only prolonged agony and suffering to be our everyday lot in life.

There are two powerful, unseen spirit forces and sources operating in this world Heather. Satan is the god of this world according to (2nd Corinthians 4:4) Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God. The phrase “god of this world” (or “god of this age”) indicates that Satan is the major influence on the ideals, opinions, goals, hopes and views of the majority of people. His influence also encompasses the world’s philosophies, education, and commerce. The thoughts, ideas, speculations and false religions of the world are under his control and have sprung from his lies and deceptions.

(I might add a note here to explain that there are differing dedicated folks that spend their time as I do, in more properly understanding the true word and way of God . How, there is much of it being aimed at a much deeper understanding of what appears on the surface. One such case is that some believe and teach that Satan is a word being used about our adversary known as Satan, as being  the carnality that lives and thrives inside all of us human beings.That leads us away from God and His truth. I add this here, that you may elect to look for yourself. My website partner on www.thetruthstandsout.com . On this same site, has written about it himself. God does not however reveal His truth to folks at the same time or in the same way. He only gives an individual the amount of truth that they can stand to digest at one time)

Satan is also called the "prince of the power of the air" in 
Ephesians 2:2. He is the "ruler of this world" in John 12:31. These titles and many more signify Satan’s capabilities. To say, for example, that Satan is the "prince of the power of the air" is to signify that in some way he rules over the world and the people in it.

This is not to say that he rules the world completely; God is still sovereign. But it does mean that God, in His infinite wisdom, has allowed Satan to operate in this world within the boundaries God has set for him. When the Bible says Satan has power over the world, we must remember that God has given him domain over unbelievers only. Believers are no longer under the rule of Satan (
Colossians 1:13). Unbelievers, on the other hand, are caught "in the snare of the devil" (2 Timothy 2:26), lie in the "power of the evil one" (1 John 5:19), and are in bondage to Satan (Ephesians 2:2).

So, when the Bible says that Satan is the "god of this world," it is not saying that he has ultimate authority. It is conveying the idea that Satan rules over the unbelieving world in a specific way. In 
2 Corinthians 4:4, the unbeliever follows Satan's agenda: "The god of this world has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ." It is necessary here to point out non believers consists largely of so called Christians whom profess to know and to believe Christ, but really do not believe He is whom He claims to be, and definitely do not follow after His teachings. They instead follow after the customs, rituals and traditions of Satan deceived churches and their ministers.

Satan's scheme includes promoting false philosophies in the world—philosophies that blind the unbeliever  (counterfeit Christian) to the truth of the Gospel. Satan’s philosophies and teachings are deceptions taught by a counterfeit Christian church and their ministers around the world, such as I have taught you for many years. What we do and what we refuse to do, tells God a lot about us. He tells us in Revelation 18:4 to come out of this worlds religious system of counterfeit Christianity, known as well as the Babylon of confusion. I came out of Babylon before you were born, and God has been using me ever since to help others to understand His real truth.

-Have you ever heard me say, Merry Christmas

Not in your forty some year old life you haven't. I did at one time, as I tried all of the things I seen others doing. I would self medicate myself in some honky tonk bar of ill repute, until I couldn't hold anymore. Then I would finally stagger home all falling down drunk and using the most foul language I could lay my tongue to. Until on one fateful night at Henry's Bar in Reed City, Michigan, a recently released inmate out from Jackson prison, along with another drunk, decided it was time to rearrange my looks. They sort of took turns at pounding and choking on me, God was it seems, finally getting my undivided attention.

I woke up in the morning looking like I had been in a hatchet fight, and the other guy was holding the hatchet. My face looked like it had caught on fire and someone had tried to put it out with a shovel. I had gone home with one ear kinda dangling off my head. When my little kids, with big sympathetic eyes filled with tears had asked, "Daddy, what happened to your  ear? I never took another drink of alcohol of any kind for over seven years. I haven't had a drinking problem since that day. All of a sudden the way of God seemed to appeal to me. He isn't finished with me yet, I know I have some rough edges that need to be knocked off, but the difference now is, I have learned to accept and to appreciate that He loves me enough to continue working on me.

When you reach your lowest point in life, the same thing will happen to you too. The Apostle Paul was a person hell bent on destroying the lives of Christians. Killing, maiming and dragging them to be locked up in dungeons and not ever in some cases ever seeing sunlight again. I can well imagine that their eventual torturous death, became a giant welcome relief. Jesus Christ noticed all that Paul had been doing, and decided it was time to step in and have a word with him. You know the story, on the road to Damascus Christ struck Paul as blind as a bat, and immediately got his attention. 

Paul in a heartbeat, had suddenly and instantly been struck blind. His physical eyes couldn't see anything, But as you know, his spiritual eyes had been open to spiritual sight, and he could plainly see then, all of his long list of past sins against God. He spent the rest of his life serving God in every way. He claimed himself to be the worst of the worst of sinners. He had to suffer much for God, the rest of his days. This life is not meant to be easy and without any bumps in the road, God corrects and punishes the son or daughter that He loves. The word of God tells us if we are not being corrected, we are bastards and we are not being loved. 

When I learned a half century ago about all of the lies, half truths and outright deception the counterfeit Christian church was teaching, I came out of the Babylon of confusion and have never looked back. The cries from the crowd of Christian confusion keep demanding to put Christ back in Christmas. If they ever spent as much as ten minutes time asking the question about the origin of Christmas, they would all know that God never put Him there in the first place. We think we are pleasing God, when in reality we are in the process of choking off His Holy Spirit. 

That it is an absolute abomination to God that He hates, and commands that we learn not the way of the heathen or how other nations worship their gods. If one really does want to have a better more peaceful life filled with the good things that God has promised those who are obedient to His Word, it also means we all need to wake up and read Deuteronomy 28 that reveals what is being earned by both blessings for obedience, and curses for disobedience. Satan has filled the minds of the blind with all sorts of false doctrines that God warns us against.

There are almost too many to write down here, but I am going to list a few. All of these are out and out lies of monumental proportions, that Satan has been palate feeding his docile flock of so called Christians for hundreds and hundreds, and even thousands of years. The pagans for example celebrated a festival called Saturnalia to honor their sun god Saturn. Where in their celebrations they among other evil and anti-God practices, burned their little babies and young children alive in an iron god with outstretched arms, where they would place the screaming child being burned alive. 

Where the pagan priests would beat loudly on drums to keep the fathers from hearing their blood curdling screams of extreme pain and torture. The iron god was heated up red hot, a representation of their sun god Saturn. Paying him honor and homage while sacrificing their children in their attempt to bring him back in the spring time for an eventual good harvest. Who, you ask is guilty of all these things? "Good Question". For the most part, it is and always has been those claiming to be God's people, the Christian. God's own people crucified His own Son Jesus Christ, when He came to earth to reveal the Father to us. Nothing much has changed, He wouldn't be allowed to teach or preach in any so called Christian church to this day.

Now, along come Christianity under the rule and influence of Satan, and wanting to bring pagans into their fold, they attach the name of Jesus Christ to it, by calling it Christmas. More or less allowing the pagans to continue on celebrating it as they had become accustomed to doing. Now instead of worshiping God, it became the worship of the sun god Saturn. So, Christianity attempting to convert paganism to Christianity, had it backfire on them. Paganism didn’t do away with their idol worship, Christianity instead joined in and adopted their practicing the idolatry of worshiping false images, times and seasons themselves. I don’t have the market cornered on this Heather, we live in the era of the knowledge explosion, this information is available to anyone with a desire to know truth, to just Google up the origins of Christmas

Then one thing after another that Christ had taught men as the truth, Christianity tore down and made their own substitutions for celebrations in worship to Satan the deceiver, instead of our Almighty God whom is due all honor, glory, adoration and worship Himself. A new set of times and seasons apart from what God had commanded, soon appeared all over the Satan controlled world. Easter, Halloween, all saints Day, Devils night, St. Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Maundy Thursday, Holy Thursday, Ash Wednesday, Lent, eating fish on Fridays, (Until recently in honor of the half fish, half man god, Dagon) The immaculate conception, The Rosary, The Trinity, Praying to Mary, a dead woman, the rapture, The Christian hell myth, The Christian heaven myth, with a host of other hocus pocus off the wall teachings too numerous to mention.

To me Heather, a lot of pyscho-babel, as Rush Limbaugh calls it, where thousands upon thousands of shrinks make a ton of money by having their clients in on a never-ending cycle of couch therapy, in many cases is just adding too and making problems continue to linger on. There next million-dollar condo or yacht payment depends upon return business. I don’t intend to ridicule or put down such serious problems you are having, as easy to solve, they are not. Nor am I discounting the value of some good and valued psychotherapy. It serves a good purpose to many.

As a matter of fact, I believe what you and Ben both need to be involved in, is showing the level of care, concern and love for your little kids that they so desperately need, and that you both owe them. It should be for both of you together, to get some help in your co-parenting skills, because it becomes apparent that nothing is working out at this time for the benefit and well-being of Ava and Ruby. If something like I am suggesting, or that others may suggest too, is left to simmer on, it is going to get worse with each passing day. Until it will make that movie I took you too about, “The war of the Rose’s” seem like a girl scout outing.

Is it any wonder then, in whom it is that we have been following, (Satan) that we find ourselves in such difficult and trying times in attempting to make sense of things that surround us on every side? Without God in the picture, it is impossible. The purpose and plan of God from before the world began, was to make mankind in His image and in His likeness. In other words, Heather,

God is reproducing Himself in mankind. Christ was His firstborn of many brothers and sisters, we are following after Jesus Christ. We are all to become as God and Jesus Christ are now. Immortal, spirit beings. To have life as They have life. It matters not one iota of what you believe or don’t believe, or of what you want or don’t want, it is going to happen. God doesn't under any stretch of our imagination have to consult with us to see what it is that we want or need, He already knew all of that before the first human being was ever put here on earth. He isn't waiting on us to see if its OK with us. His purpose and plan was put into effect before the world began. It is exactly on track as anything God does will always be. 

The greatest commandment God tells us is this, to love others as we love ourselves. Although Ben is your ex-husband, more importantly, he is your brother in mankind. You may not be required to like him or how your feelings about him is at the moment, but God does command you to love him. Wish him no ill will, desire good things for him. Beyond that he is the father of your kids, and for their long-term well-being and to help them heal and to adjust to you and Ben's decision to divorce and rip their once family bond apart, requires, you and Ben to be responsible grown-ups, to step up and give them an example of love and forgiveness to contemplate, to insure a reasonable stable adult life and future for them both.

We cannot leave God out of the equation and then expect things to just work out well for us. As Einstein was quoted as saying, “One cannot continue on doing the same thing over and over again, and expect there to be any change”. When I say God, I do not necessarily mean to go to church and let them fix everything. Going to church might be a good thing, but to me it has always been more than that. We need to know for ourselves what it is that God teaches us as the truth, and for the most part it cannot be found in any of our so called Christian churches. Here is what the Bereans had to say about that. And the people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul's message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth.

(Acts 17:11) We have that same obligation today, we cannot take the chance that the ministers of Satan, be masquerading as Angels of light. (2nd Corinthians 11:13-15) For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, masquerading as apostles of Christ.  And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light. It is not surprising, then, if his servants masquerade as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their actions. Being the parent makes us be in the spiritual teaching and instructing business of the word and truth of God, but first we must know it ourselves. I urge you to become serious about it, it is the one thing that will cause a family to feel close to God first, then to each other.

Whether you believe it or not, whether you like it or not, whether you want it or not, makes no difference at all. Ben is going to saved and be an immortal, spirit being, you are going to be saved and be an immortal spirit being just like God and Jesus Christ now are. All of human kind are going to be saved and belong in eternity. It therefore behooves us to begin now to get along together, to love and to care for, to be a champion for others, work at developing a forgiving nature, give others the benefit of the doubt. I have always liked the quote, “I did away with an enemy today, I made him my friend”.

There's a common concept that seems to run rampant in the community of divorce professionals. It is coined "high conflict couple" or "high conflict divorce." The thinking usually involves a belief that these difficult post-divorce custody battles displaying constant conflict are because both parents involved are just a bit crazy...or a lot crazy.

The common thinking is that those adults with children, who divorce and continue to battle post-divorce, must both have major psychological issues. After all, who would do this to the children? These are the cases that exhibit increased tension, post parenting difficulties, and often need child family investigators and parent coordinators to determine parenting time.

But, enter the condition of narcissism. What if you married a narcissist who is all about what is good for him or her, rather than what is in the best interest of the children? The narcissist makes unrealistic demands, is not emotionally connected to the children, may be emotionally abusive or worse, but will fight to the end to gain revenge or fight in the interest of his/her own needs. The fight may be economically based, or more likely what is known as a narcissistic injury. That person will never get over or forget that you filed for divorce or abandoned them, and will continue to make life difficult for you and the children. What do you do? Knowing we all have narcissistic tendencies, which one of you does this reflect the most upon?

The danger here is that the children's best interest may not be served if narcissism is not understood in the case. It is true that one person who is narcissistic can unilaterally cause serious conflict that causes the other parent to go into defense mode to protect themselves and the children. Given that emotional abuse is difficult to prove and not taken seriously by the courts in most states, the war is on in these cases where one parent is causing havoc and the other is just trying to defend and protect. But does this mean they are both psychologically disturbed in some way? Not always.

To reiterate, if you marry a narcissist and then divorce that person, the narcissist will not forgive and forget. They do not move on easily. They cling to "how could you abandon me or do this to me" and the anger lingers for long periods of time, sometimes years and years. To imagine that one could process through an amicable divorce with a narcissist and stay friends and co-parent in a reasonable manner is not realistic with narcissists. After having said that, it still becomes the responsibility of the parents to take immediate action, or suffer the for certain, future outcome. I urge you to not let the screwed-up court system, send the kids you profess to love, to a strange home where they could be subjected to some sort of sexual molestation or who knows what else is out there waiting for them, within this sin sick world of today.

This present day immoral and sin filled society, where everything goes, where the distorted carnal or narcissistic mind is in play. They do things such as excessively disparage the other parent, resort to making up unfair and untrue allegations, and do not want to financially support the children because that somehow means to them that they are giving money to their ex-spouse. Their entitlement needs get in the way of fairly dividing property and money and in the end, they do not think of what is best for the child or children. They think about what is best for them! "It is my parenting time!" "You cannot have sporting events on my time!" "Your mother (or father) is taking all my money."

Because narcissists do not have the capacity for empathy and emotionally tuning into the needs of others, the children's emotional needs are not realized. Thriving on constant conflict is the narcissist's way to stay connected and fight for his or her own rights rather than consider what works for the children. In fact, being oblivious to the needs of the children is usually observed. However, it is just easier and it justifies our nature and actions as normal, as we point our fingers at the other party, and all of their faults, flaws sins and shortcomings, to elevate ourselves. It is a game we human beings have been playing with and on each other, ever since father Adam and mother Eve entered the garden.   

My concern is first for the children in these families, then for the spouse who married the narcissist (if we would all stop right here and make a decision to interchange one word for another, it would help us all to increase our understanding of what is going on in marriages. Every time the word narcissist is mentioned in a divorce case, put the words "Carnal human-being" in its place, now we are getting somewhere) who is also being seen as a conflict designer. The helping professionals in divorce cases need continued education on this issue. Without a deeper understanding, (I have just given them a deeper understanding) we are losing the opportunity to truly assist families going through the life changing and emotionally wrenching experience of divorce.

Narcissism ( carnal human-being) is a disorder that wreaks havoc in these families. If this is you, make sure your attorney is well informed. There will need to be professionals involved to assist in how to deal with the narcissist (carnal human-being) parent. It is advised that the children attend therapy with a professional who understands the dynamics of narcissism (carnal human-being) and how that affects children. Some parenting plans that reflect a good understanding of narcissistic (carnal human-being) parenting will be needed. See how that cleared up so many things?

A note of truth here in understanding all of life’s complications and problem, might just be, to go to the One that created us in the first place. Whenever I have to go to a doctor of any kind, I try and find one that specializes in whatever it is that ails me. I would not refuse to go to a head doctor that I thought could help me, even though I did try it out one time, and it didn’t. There is a giant connection that cannot be overlooked in this matter. How we live our lives has a lot to do with our peace of mind, well-being and the solace we would like to experience in our lives. The moment we put God first in our lives, we begin to notice how it seems suddenly, like everything is making better sense. The absolute best thing you can do for yourself and your kids Heather, is to put God first in your personal life.

You do not ever have to darken the door of any church. The church that Jesus Christ is building here on earth, is not a church of brick and mortar. Christ is building His church that the gates of hell cannot prevail against, out of living stones. WE live in Him, as He also lives within us. That is us whom believe that he is whom He claims to be, The Savior of all of mankind. You are computer literate, you know how to seek and search out answers on the internet. You might even start by Googling up my name, Leith Lyman Cunningham, and read the piece titled, “These are the hands”. You will even find your name, and our interactions in there. We have other websites listed down to help you get excited about life and the hereafter. I highly recommend getting on the site of the late L. Ray Smith, he helped me out a lot during his lifetime.

Why one would marry a narcissist (CHB, equals carnal human-being) is a no-brainer. They can be charming, enticing, engaging and easily put on a show in the beginning of relationships. They are out there for you to fall in love with. You will only know the reality as you get to know them better over a period of time. But if you decide to divorce, reach out for some specialized assistance! You and your kids are worth it.

In closing, consider this, the pay as you go professional lawyers, attorneys and head doctors, love your money, God loves you unconditionally! It is getting quite late Heather and I’m getting a sore neck from sitting here at my computer. I am thinking about you and ways that I might be able to help you with what you are going through. Right now, this is the best that I know to do.

I love you,